Wednesday, May 31, 2006

We Will Survive

(Cohen and the Silver Horde)

by Weird Alice Lancrevic,
with apologies to Gloria Gaynor

First we were untamed, all uncivilised
Plund'ring the Disc for jewels and temple-girls with creamy thighs
But we sacked too many sites, til Teach said, "You do it wrong"
Still, we were strong
So much stronger than Lord Hong

And so we're back, from certain Death
If we can pillage and carouse
We don't need poncy things like breath
We stole the Agateans' throne, though it was under lock and key
Then, after giving them their freedom,
Conquered Cori Ce-les-ti
We're gone but no, we haven't left
Just turn around slow
Or by a broadsword you'll be cleft
We brought fire back to the gods
And jumped off the mountainside - you think we tumbled
When there were Valkyries to ride?!

Oh no, not us, we will survive
As long as we can swing a sword
We will keep the myth alive
We've got loincloths, we've got power, we've got virgins to deflower
And we'll survive, we will survive.

It took all the strength we had to defeat the gods
We tricked 'em good with rotten fish and brazened out the odds
Since Vena spent so many nights
Just knitting chain mail 'for the boys'
We slice and strut (that's just Hamish, yelling "WHUT?")
And you'll see Cohen, Old Vincent too
Caleb and Truckle and Boy Willie, charging down on you
We'll come to save (and wreck) the day
We won't politely fade away
There are thrones yet to be trodden
See, we're still dogs in our day

Oh yes, that's us, we will survive
As long as Discworld needs its heroes, the Silver Horde will thrive
We've got chutzpah, we've got guts
We've got Hamish, yelling "WHUT?!"
And we'll survive
We will survive
We will sur- "WHUT?"

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