Thursday, August 31, 2006

We Didn't Steal The Fire


by Weird Alice Lancrevic,
with apologies to Billy Joel.

NOTE: for those of you who might not know the original lyric, rest assured that the verses below follow the rhythm and metre very, very faithfully (except for the last line of the last verse, muhahaha). If you wish to compare, go to

Turnwise Ocean, Great A'Tuin, Ridcully, month of Spune
Imp y Celyn, Coffin Henry, Stick and Bucket Dance
Corp'al Cheery Littlebottom, Lavaeolus, Margolotta
Tattooed blue MacFeegle wearing kilts instead of pants
Circle Sea, Sto Lat, Sourcery, pointy hat
Lu-Tze, the Book of Om, Necrotelicomnicon
Lords and Ladies, Night Watch, Bad Ass in the Ramtops
B.S. Johnson, Djelibeybi, Casanunda - I'm gone...

We didn't steal the fire
It was only restin' on Dunmanifestin
We didn't steal the fire
Now the gods decry us, but they can't deny us

Sgt. Colon, Copperhead, Beggars' Guild, "I aten't dead!"
Herne the Hunted, "Where is Muntab?", Reginald Shoe
Sam Vimes in The Times, Vetinari hates mimes
"Numbers" Riktor, "Oook!" and Lancre Blue
Broad Way, Lobsneaks, poor and proud in Cockbill Street
Jingo, Carpe Jugulum, CURRY? I COULD MURDER ONE
John Keel, Ronnie Soak, Dibbler cuts his own throat
Sto Helit, Agnes Nitt, Ronnie Rust's a right twit...

We didn't steal the fire
Io's too self-centred, so we broke and entered
We didn't steal the fire
Just a bit of cheating for some central heating

Reacher Gilt, Wee Free Men, Stibbons in the H.E.M.
Low King, Wolf attacks, strange message on the Clacks
Belafon...need a Gonne? - Leonard will design one
Swamp dragons, Harry King, Bel-Shamharoth, Captain Swing
Princess Keli, Duck Man, Blind Io, Klatchistan
Death of Rats, Igor, magic number's twice four
Gaspode, octarine, Senior Wrangler and the Dean,
Sacharissa, Rincewind, and the Band With Rocks In...

We didn't steal the fire
Flames were so good-looking we invented cooking
We didn't steal the fire
It just kind of blew in, now we're BBQ-in'

Hodgesaargh, Small Gods, Druids at Eisteddfod
Vorbis, Albert, stop for lunch in Twoshirts
Carrot Ironfoundersson, Cohen the Barbarian
Magrat, Clockson, Holy Wood...inna bun
Thieves' Guild, Mrs. Cake, cross Patrician? -- big mistake!
One in ten: lucky break, Captain Quirke is on the take...

We didn't steal the fire
It was only restin' on Dunmanifestin
We didn't steal the fire
No, they didn't catch us when we took their matches

Carrot and oyster pie, Quantum Weather Butterfly
Greebo, Modo, Nobby Nobbs (oh no!)
Dotsie, Sadie, Foul Ole Ron, Mrs. Palm and "Mossy" Lawn
Weatherwax headology, Unseen University
Lady Sybil, Willikins, Mr. Tulip, Mr. Pin,
Land of Fog, Wonder Dog, Wow-Wow Sauce, Nanny Ogg
Moist von Lipwig, "Where's my cow?", Done It Duncan, Here 'n' Now
Koom Valley, Mr. Shine
Whoopee, it's the final line!

We didn't steal the fire
It was always waiting for appropriating
We didn't steal the fire
We can build and burn it -- now let's go return it
We didn't steal the fire
Now the gods decry us, but they can't deny us
We didn't steal the fire...


myshii said...

oh ye gods, this song is amazing! i listened to it with billys version in the background and your timings spot on.i recon tp himself would be impressed

Anonymous said...

Thank you! And you'll find that the timing is spot-on in i>/i> Weird Alice's parodies. And yes, he is :D