PRIVET DANCER
(with apologies to Tina Turner)
by Weird Alice Lancrevic
All the folk come to my forest
Their requests are never grand
They know that I'm the poorest
Hedge wizard in the land
Mostly, customers are human
Now and then, a dwarf or troll
I put my show on to please 'em
Keeping myself off the dole
I'm your privet dancer, a dancer for magic
Brew any potion for you
I'm your privet dancer, I'm rural and tragic
And any old hedgerow will do...
I want to live a life more thrilling
I wanna live out by the Rim
Eating pies with tasty fillings
Yeah, my pointy hat could use a brim
All the folk come to my forest
Desperation brings them in
Here comes another chorus
So here's your medicine
I'm your privet dancer, a dancer for magic
Spell-casting only for you
I'm your privet dancer, no shambles or gadgets
But any old hedgerow will do...
Don't want Ankh dollars
A flannel full of cress will do nicely, thank you!
Play my parts just like Vitoller
Tell me, do you wanna see me read your future again?
I'm your privet dancer...
** NOTE:
original lyrics for Private Dancer can be found at:
http://www.lyricsdepot.com/tina-turner/private-dancer.html
or http://tinyurl.com/yfb16a
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