Monday, December 31, 2007

Hoggerwatchy

THE CLACKS LOG OF...CERTAINTY NIBLICK

Cert here, posting on behalf of Alice, wherever and whatever she is. As you can see, I managed to make it out of the Mage Wars wastes. Took a while to get functional-shaped again. Actually, I'm not me-shaped again yet, but I can hold a pen in my beak so it could be worse. I'm not good with writing, much, but I did find some copies of Alice's songs and poems and one of them is appropriate to the season so I'm posting it here. Wishing you all a happy Hogswatch and wishing myself the good fortune to stop being a parrot. Then again, I'm going to carry on trying to find Alice, so being able to fly without a carpet has a sort of advantage. Wish me luck.

    HOGGERWATCHY
    by Weird Alice Lancrevic

    Twas Hogswatch, and the savvy youths
    Did slyly grin as sleep they feigned
    All tinselled were the icy roofs
    And the Hogfather reigned

    'Beware the pig-shaped choccy buns!
    'The drunken fights, the booze'd collapse!
    'Beware the lemon curd, and shun
    'Voluminous brandy-snaps!'

    We took our chunder-cures in hand
    Pork rinds and sausage pie we bought
    Then rested we as the clock struck three
    And had a wily thought

    And as we hid, with prying eyes
    The Hogfather (with list of names)
    Came jingling through the wintry skies
    HO. HO. HO. as he came!

    One-two, one-two! The ham's sliced through!
    Its charcoaled skin was bright as chrome
    We played Charades, then thanked the Gods
    And went galumphing home

    'And hast thou drained the scumble-pot?
    'Don't be alarmed, my wee pished bairn!'
    O scabrous daze, me head's all glazed!
    We mortals never learn...

    Twas Hogswatch, and the savvy youths
    Did slyly grin as sleep they feigned
    All tinselled were the icy roofs
    And the Hogfather reigned.


Editor's note: Hoggerwatchy is dedicated to Gytha Fiona and Wincantonbury Tales.

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