Thursday, January 31, 2008

Life In Quirm


Well. The good news is that I'm back in my own body again -- or my own body is back to itself again -- whatever -- and that I've found Alice's trail. Or at least an indication of Alice's trail. We've managed to reach each other through a variation of Postvital Communications, and I've discovered that she's in an alternate universe and has been trapped in an alternate Quirm for weeks now. This is her report, in song of course.

We'll see each other again. I'm working on it.


    There's a Godsawful floral clock
    In that town with miasmic air
    Where the cheeses are ageing slow
    And the cafes serve sparkling 'eau'
    But they roll up the pavements at night
    And the tourism turns to flight
    Though there's wineries ev'rywhere
    All the 'vin' is so 'ordinaire'
    Yes, the city's a sad old bore
    See it once and you'll cry 'non more!'
    Though the cuisine is 'cordon bleu'
    It's ennui that you'll choke upon

    Shouting round the veg stalls
    Oh man, look at those tradesmen go
    It's a brassica show
    Take a look at the Watchmen
    Rolling up their dog-ends
    Oh man, wonder if they'll ever know
    There's something shaking in Sto
    Is there life in Quirm?

    It's on Morporkia's guanoed brow
    In plainer words than in 'WHERE'S MY COW?'
    That the Quirmians struck true fame:
    Voted "Most Boring Town" again!
    Yes, its lack of all interest reigns
    From the Ankh to the fecund plains
    It's the paste in the rural jewels
    (Though it's good for producing Fools)
    Really, Quirm is a sad old bore
    It's advisable to ignore
    Now I'm watching that clock again
    As the sun turns the crocus on

    Short yobs
    Fighting in the Dwarf bars
    Oh man, look at those Kzad-bhats go
    They've been digging below
    Take a look at the schoolgirls
    Barging down the sports field
    Oh man, wonder if they'd ever care
    Death sent his granddaughter there...
    Is there life in Quirm?

Note for Roundworlders:
original lyrics can be found at:

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